Adam-Troy Castro

Writer of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Stories About Yams.

 

2015 BEST AMERICAN SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY

Posted on August 1st, 2015 by Adam-Troy Castro

BEHIND THE SCENES STORIES OF THE WRITER’S EGO:

Whenever I receive an anthology or an issue of a magazine where one of my stories appears, I read the whole thing cover to cover, to determine how my contribution stacks up to those of other contributors.

More frequently than I can tell you, my judgment declares my story one of the two or three best, sometimes enough to take the top slot.

This is ego, but not just ego. As it happens, I am very tough on myself, extraordinarily tough on myself. I see nothing but flaws. But in most anthologies, there are any number of stories that just lie there, by my judgment; that are there to fill pages, that are not as memorable as others.

I don’t say that I’m always and invariably the author of the best story in the book. I’m not that inane. I say only that I’ve noted it a few times, out of dozens of publications, and that I’m satisfied in many cases just to be among the book’s standouts. Sometimes it’s a low bar, sometimes a high one. (I have also been in anthologies where my story was a two-finger exercise I wasn’t particularly proud of, that I just tossed off; once or twice, going for the paycheck when normally I can’t even complete a story unless I deeply believe in it, so yeah, there have been a couple of my times where I was clearly the book’s detritus. Just a couple.)

And no, I think I’ll refrain from naming the anthologies where I believe my own stories to have been the best, because I am not about to aggrandize myself by shitting on so many others. That’s not the point I’m making.

I’m competitive, is what I am saying.

It is in this context that I report that I have last night started reading my Advance Review Copy of 2015 BEST AMERICAN SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY, and devoured the first three stories in the book, a selection that includes a heartbreaking dystopia, a fantastic journey, and a rumination on loss and recovery, and that they are all exquisite, all stories of divine craft that meld the imagination with profound human feeling; and they all plunge the competitive part of me into despair in different ways; and they all make me as a reader exult about the heights this field can reach. Together with the scattered stories from later in the book I already remember encountering in the last year, they are all splendid works of art. While I am confident that my piece belongs within these covers, I am left absolutely humbled to silence by the magnitude of the company.

On the basis of those first three stories, alone, I am ready to call this book a monument.

Thinking About X When I Should Be Thinking About Y

Posted on July 30th, 2015 by Adam-Troy Castro

It so happens that I was about to complain at length about the following, one of the worst things we do to one another in our advocacy of various causes, before Senator Marco Rubio obliged me by indulging in the sin himself.

He tweeted, “Look at all this outrage over a dead lion, but where is all our outrage over the Planned Parenthood dead babies.”

Now, as it happens, the so-called Pro-Life people happen to adore this kind of rhetoric. Every time there’s a humanitarian issue of any kind, that doesn’t have to do with abortion, you can bet your last yodel that before very long some jackass will complain that you shouldn’t be thinking about that, because of all the dead babies. You can set your watch by it.

But this is not limited to their side of the political spectrum. Even as I went to bed last night, I saw the outrage over poor Cecil the lion attacked from another political direction. “Look at all the white people worried about a lion,” this one went, “and not caring at all about what happened to poor Sandra Bland!”

It is pernicious nonsense in both cases.

Look. Let’s pick a random human being. Me. (Whoops, I think that was not quite random.)

On any given moment I could be talking about, or writing about, any number of subjects. Some of them are subjects to stir my outrage. Some are not. I am indeed pissed off at the pathology of those who think there is no higher entertainment than going to a distant place, luring a specimen of a fast-dwindling species out of its place of safety, killing it, and feeling personal vindication in the moment. This loathing is not directed at all hunting. I understand that some people hunt for food and some people hunt for ritual, and that there are places where hunting is necessary to cull excess, and I have no problem with any of those things. But I think trophy hunting, especially at a time when most experts believe we will have no lions at all in a decade or two, is a pastime for assholes.

I am also pissed off at the tragedy of poor Sandra Bland, arrested for having a poor attitude while Black and later found mysteriously dead in her cell; a pattern of “committed suicide in her cell” that has occurred a number of times around this country. That is suspicious, that is horrifying, and that is emblematic of a significant and systematic brutality on the part of law enforcement. I believe it is a sickness in the system that we have yet to address, and yes, when I see people argue about whether she had it coming, I am pissed off by that too. I think the pattern of which this is a part is a significant danger to the future of our Democracy.

Because I am a human being, it is possible for me to simultaneously keep other concerns, some just as important, some far less important, in my head. The planet’s continued slide into the environmental abyss is one concern, a major one. The continued horrifying revelations about a man I once idolized, Bill Cosby, is another. I am also concerned about the upcoming Presidential election and whether my cat really likes me and my blood sugar level and what’s going to happen on GAME OF THRONES and finishing my next story and what I am going to have for breakfast and if the latest Netflix disk is going to arrive today.

Some of these concerns are clearly more global in impact than others; some are just personal; and some are downright silly. (I spend more time than is healthy for me thinking about Squirrel Girl.)

I do not equate the tragedy of Sandra Bland with my vague worry over whether I am going to have a bagel or cereal for breakfast. That would be grotesque. I do, however, say, that as a human being I am used to keeping more than one concern in my head at a time, and that this is one of the functions of sentience and that it is a factor to keep in mind even when you’re dealing with fanatics.

Senator Marco Rubio thinks we should think of nothing but all the dead babies, but I assure you that he also spends some brain energy thinking of his family and about the storm clouds on the horizon and his favorite music and the growing leaden weight in his abdomen that lets him know, right now, that sooner or later he’ll have to make his way to a toilet.

We can think about, we can worry about, more than one thing at a time. And so I hate this thing we do to each other in our rhetoric, this incredibly arrogant and short-sighted thing that we do, when we tell other people that whatever else they’re worried about is nothing for a thinking person to be worried about.

WHY ARE YOU DEVOTING SO MUCH TIME TO FRETTING OVER X WHEN YOU SHOULD BE FRETTING OVER Y? DON’T YOU THINK Y IS IMPORTANT?

Yes, I think Y is important.

THEN WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT X?

Because I think X is important. I can have more than one concern on my agenda.

YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT NOTHING BUT Y!

First: not a possibility.

Second: fuck you, you don’t think about one thing 24/7 either, why should I?

Third: nobody ever gave you the right to type up my daily brain agenda and cross out line items that concern you not at all.

Fourth: I can often discern a political attempt to distract by your angry declarations that I should not be thinking about X because I should be thinking about Y. See: repeated cries of BENGHAZI!

People, we all ride a particular concern, from time to time, and we all feel the frustration of trying to get other people to listen, to the degree we want them to listen. But telling other people that whatever they’re concerned with at any given moment is unworthy, in favor of what we prefer them to care about, is a hostile act. It’s an attempt to brain-hijack. Advance your own agenda on its merits and do so without attacking any others. If your agenda has any urgency at all, you will gain ground.

You will LOSE ground by telling people that whatever else they care about is stupid.

I know that when I hear anybody say, WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT X WHEN YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT Y, I have no trouble thinking that the speaker is a jackass who I should remove from my long list of concerns as soon as possible. So don’t do that.

And for God’s sake don’t go straight to ridiculing whatever harmless obsession the people you’re talking to possess, that you find silliest in the context of whatever you find most important. We all have our Squirrel Girls, or our STAR TREKs, or our legends of early twentieth-century Jazz, somewhere in our heads. I promise you. You do too.

The Painful Moment When You Must Justify Your Beloved Pet’s Trust

Posted on July 25th, 2015 by Adam-Troy Castro

Originally published on Facebook 9 April 2015.

Because I’ve experienced it many times myself and have just seen a couple of distraught friends report having to make their own difficult decision today:

Yes. Having a beloved pet means that someday you will weep.

This is a contract you sign the day you first look at a furry baby, and decide to take it into your home. The size of the hole felt, a few years later for you, a lifetime later for this creature whose fate wound up in your hands, is exactly the volume of the substance that filled it.

My only advice is that when the painful decision has to be made, make it without shame. You are not betraying your pet. You are doing the opposite of betraying your pet. You are taking on some pain for yourself, to spare some for your companion. No moment in your relationship will be a better definition of love. Nor will any moment better justify the trust your pet put in you, all its life.

If I have any wisdom to share, it’s this. If you can stand it at all, stay with your animal. I had one beloved cat, who loved me more single-mindedly than any being who ever walked this Earth, receive his shot and pass without closing his eyes; they were his eyes still, but there was no longer anything in them. I had another beloved cat die at age 4, after we spent months trying to save him. I had an hour with him at the vet’s office, holding him in my lap and thanking him for spending his short existence with us. That hour was me not leaving him alone with them, as the staff offered. That hour was me loving him up until the very last possible instant. I had another cat, in a shelter for years, contract a raging cancer only five months after we declared ourselves the family who would finally take him. He put his chin on my wrist and purred until he stopped. Feeling that was a privilege.

If this is what you’re facing, my sympathy to you. But this is an important part of your story together. Understand that it hurts only because it’s supposed to, and that the hurt is a final, defiant declaration. It’s part of the deal.

Adam-Troy Castro

 
 
 

Copyright © 2011 Adam-Troy Castro Designed by Brandy Hauman