Man is a social animal.
It is therefore permitted, even if we don’t know each other, to disturb my simple errand with your conversation.
I do not believe it too much to ask that if you do this, you first ensure that your overture is charming, informative, urgent, or sufficiently entertaining that it is excused of the obligation to any of those three.
Allow me to provide examples.
Charming is, “Oh! What a pretty dog!”
Informative is, “Your dog is taking a shit on that guy’s lawn.”
Urgent is, “Watch out for that dog shit!”
Entertaining is, “You know what? The average standard poodle shits enough to fill an entire Cadillac Eldorado in its lifetime.”
All of these are worthwhile interpositions.
If I do not know why you are even talking to me, you have failed in your overture.
For instance, today’s incident.
I was at the grocery store, picking up a few items for Judi.
One of those items is a rotisserie chicken.
And as I take it from the rack and bring it to the cart, you approach and boom, “BUYING A CHICKEN, EH?”
I do not imagine that this exchange can possibly get more inane, so I respond politely enough. “Um, yes.”
And you boom, “ONLY IN AMERICA!”
You left me with no choice but to reply, “Damn straight! You would never see this kind of thing happening in Belgium!”
And I’m sure you went home equally bothered.
Seriously, guy. Charming, Informative, Urgent, or Entertaining. A fine spectrum of opening gambits.
Comprehensible would be nice, too.
Comment By: Ken Papai
November 4th, 2019 at 11:00 am
How to reply to grocery cashier, “So, did you find everything okay?”
Answer, “Why do ask, do you hide stuff here?”
Cheers, Ken