Adam-Troy Castro

Writer of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Stories About Yams.

 

On The Nature Of Those Who Put Vipers on Pedestals

Posted on August 28th, 2016 by Adam-Troy Castro

Originally published on Facebook 28 August 2015.

For most of us, our heroes reflect our aspirations. Not the other way around. Oh, sure, we are capable of being influenced by iconic figures, but in many cases, we select those icons by what our aspirations already are – even if they’re not aspirations we’re capable of achieving.

For instance, if you want to be a terrific writer, or even if you only wish you could be, you stock your pantheon with writers who reflect the kind of work you venerate. They remain your heroes even if you do never quite figure out how to put a sentence together.

If you want a life of adventure or wish you could have one, you choose your heroes among mountain climbers, explorers, people who fling challenges at the world.

If you value benevolence above all else, you fill that hall with benefactors.

We all have overlap, of course, because we’re all interested in different things. My heroes include scientists, writers, people who said no to injustice…even an actor or two. But they all reflect that part of me which is capable of being touched by them.

And the negative of all this is that some of us are inspired by assholes, because we want to be assholes.

We all understand this: it is fun to be an asshole.

This is one reason we admire the anarchic spirit of comedy teams like The Three Stooges and the Marx Brothers, when they descend upon some proper civilized place and wreak havoc among those whose worst sin is believing that decorum is a virtue. We only wish we could sow that kind of chaos!

The difference is that, for most of us, such comedy functions as pressure valve. We turn it off and then refrain from demolishing any posh living rooms ourselves.

But some of us have deeper admiration for the malice of people who don’t give a shit about anything. We feel constrained by rules and social niceties and cheer WITHOUT CONTEXT when some guy plumbs the depths of awfulness in his speech and actions.

You want some people to think you a hero? Come up with five absolutely awful things to say. They don’t even have to be wed to a particular ideology; just make sure they’re awful. Here, I’ll posit five. They are not things I think myself, but things I can concoct when trying to come up with awfulness. Every time I see some guy in a wheelchair blocking traffic by struggling out of a van, I think, the son of a bitch shouldn’t be out in public, making life inconvenient for the rest of us. I don’t know about you, but I’ll be happy when all the lions are dead. The secret of a happy marriage is keeping your wife in a constant state of physical terror. Every time I see a sign asking me to bus my own table, I leave the goddamn dishes there, because I paid for my food and you have no business telling me what to do. The best thing to do when you see somebody reading a book is to slap it out their hands.

Okay, five awful things. Now let us say I made them public, in some fashion. Let us say I said them in TV editorials, or on reasonably well-produced YouTube videos

I guarantee you that some people will choose me as hero because I said those awful things, because it is the capacity to not give a reasonable care for the opinions of Mankind that those people find aspirational, and inspirational.

They only wish they could be assholes on that scale.

Assholes with a fan base understand this, which is why they put so much effort in plumbing new sub-basements. They know that their obnoxiousness sells; they also know that it palls. So they find other awful things to say. Some of it they may not even believe in. They may very well occasionally inspire in themselves the reaction of the successful horror writer, who comes up with an appalling detail and cannot quite believe it came out of him; similarly, the iconic asshole may well draw back and wonder, “Do I really want to say this about rape victims?”, before making the conscious decision that yes, he does, because it will make his constituency pump their fists and hoot like gibbons. But even then they fall prey to the Vonnegutian dictum that we better watch out for what we pretend to be, because we will wake up one day and discover that’s it what we are.

As for the folks who venerate assholes, what do we know of them? They feel constrained by rules, by morality, by standards of behavior, by societal standards of courtesy, by the need to occasionally let others have the cookies. They think it’s really cool to be awful to people, to not give a shit about anything, and wish that they themselves could do it more frequently, and with more abandon. So they make heroes of the awful, they choose the awful as road maps to their own behavior, they sneer at any objections anybody else might raise about these objects of their aspiration. For them, the awfulness is not a caveat. It’s a selling point.

Remember that the next time some figure makes you wonder, “Christ, why does that guy have a following?” That guy has a following because he nauseates you. He is admired because there’s a sizable population of folks out there who would like to be offensive in that same manner. He is a hero because he is so talented at being the awful thing that he is. And there are people who want to be him.

Story Excerpt: “The Soul Behind The Face.”

Posted on August 24th, 2016 by Adam-Troy Castro

(Currently available in ANALOG).

The woman in the pod has just asked him:

“How long do you need me to have been your wife?”

Draiken considers the contorted syntax. Not how long would you like to be married, or how long are we supposed to have been married, but how long do you need me to have been your wife, a construction that only fits this one situation, a contract to lie.

In a sense, it’s like coming home, to a place he always hated but still suited him: the country of deceit and deception.

Still, the standards for such things have changed, in his recent years of relative inactivity, and he is unused to some of the new methods.

In his day, people in this profession had names. They might have been aliases and they might have been cover identities, but they were names, convenient handles to be used in conversation. It therefore irritates him to have to accept that the presence before him has no name and no past and is to referred to only as “the woman,” as her contact people had specified.

“The woman” might be any age, from adolescence to dotage. The availability of rejuvenation treatments, for those who can afford that, renders any educated estimate from physical appearance a near impossibility. Her features are smooth, sculpted, and neutral, bereft of easy indicators like laugh lines. She wears no makeup, keeps her black hair at a length just long enough to establish, from the shadow of the stubble on her scalp, that she’s capable of growing some if some is necessary.  She is caucasian, more or less – more, given how pale she is — but with a few adjustments she could be any race; she is smooth-faced, but with few adjustments could be ancient; her physique is lithe to the point of near-emaciation, but gives the impression that she could wear fat. Right now, she’s a blank. But none of this places her vintage or her background, not in any manner he can discern.

In normal circumstances, there would be other indicators. Even in young bodies, the old move with a precision, and sometimes a wariness, that comes from long practice. The young, even in old bodies, tend to move with heedless abandon, as if nothing in the universe can destroy them. But the woman is immobile and those clues are unavailable.

It is not any easier to discern her character from her surroundings. She does not waste her available wealth on elbow room. Between contracts, she lives sealed in a pod no larger than a coffin, the health needs of her life, from elimination to physical conditioning, tended to by mechs and nanites. From time to time the pod swivels, vertically when she wants to stand, horizontally when she wants to lie down. It is standing open now, the top half having retracted to reveal her for the meeting. The half of her body that he can see is naked and so pale that little blue blood vessels stand in sharp contrast against her skin. There is nothing at all erotic about her nudity, which is little more than a wan demonstration of her disregard for his presence.                 She’s a woman. The woman, as she styles herself. But a generic blank.

Before his recent decades of hiding on a planet called Greeve, Draiken once spent half a year huddled in a pod like hers, which like hers occupied a slot in a dirtside warehouse lined with uncounted hundreds of others; and he knows that when she shuts off the external feeds the ivory internal walls can become holo screens. The interior can be rendered as large, to her senses, as she desires: a palace, a garden, a landscape out of any fantasy she wishes. Depending on her ability to accept those sights and sounds and the tactile sensations the pod is equipped to feed her, it might even be a perfect existence. But she is so persuasively blank, right now, that he has trouble believing she summons forth any of these things. Somehow he believes that when the screen goes blank she lets her surroundings do the same, taking comfort in the void. For some reason, she prefers the nothingness. He is fine with that. Her default lifestyle strikes him as an even more extreme version of the isolation he has taken comfort in, over the decades of his own exile: a time that was almost friendless, almost loveless, and almost without purpose, existing from day to day while trying to avoid ever becoming an actual person at all. But all those years he’d lived in relative freedom, fishing from his little skiff, feeling the sun on his back, interacting with locals he permitted himself to almost know.

This woman has somehow arranged an existence for herself even more anonymous than his own.

She’s familiar to him.

She horrifies him.

She is exactly what he needs.
*

 

The woman in the pod asks,

“Do you understand what I ask?”

Draiken responds, “Yes.”

“And yet you don’t answer. Is this the first time you’ve hired an enhanced imposter?”

“I’ve been an imposter, of one kind or another, most of my life.”

“You have traveled under false identities.”

“And lived under them, sometimes at length.”

“I presume this was a matter of self-preservation.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t ask whether you were a criminal, or terrorist, or some kind of covert operative.”

“Thank you. I wouldn’t answer you, in any event.”

“I don’t need you to. It’s the way you carry yourself. You have the look of a man who was trained to defend himself on a moment’s notice.”

“It’s gratifying to know that it still shows.”

“As you are contacting me instead of going through the resources of an organization, I further suspect that you are on your own, pursuing an agenda that is not supported by any established power. But it was always that way, yes? At least once, you worked for powerful people.”

“That’s fair.”

“When you operated undercover before, you were always aware of who you were.”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever traveled with a woman pretending to be your wife?”

“A few times.”

“These women: were they colleagues? Partners in crime, as it were?”

“Not in crime. Not as I would define it. But yes.”

“Then it must have been enough, on those occasions, for them to be as capable as living the pretense as yourself. Did they also always know that the relationship the two of you pretended at was a lie? Did they let the mask slip, in unguarded moments?”

“They were professionals. They didn’t break cover, even when we were alone.”

“But in quiet moments you could make eye contact and share the knowledge that everything you did together was in service of the fiction.”

“Yes.”

Immobile, the woman cannot shrug, but she communicates her scorn with a twitch of one thin eyebrow. “If that were sufficient for whatever you have planned, you could find yourself another woman with such talents. You come to me because you need a partner who will not be merely pretending; one who will believe every lie she speaks, and who will remember the past you only pretend at.  You need someone to become the fictional person you need. That’s the service I offer. – So I ask. How long do you need me to have been your wife? What serves your purpose most efficiently?”

Again, he hesitates.

The woman does not smile, but gives the impression of amusement, which for all he knows might be as much a put-on as everything else she does, to put a potential client at his ease. “Perhaps if I ask some leading questions. Do you intend to keep the personal appearance you wear now? In particular, your apparent age?”

“Perhaps ten or fifteen years younger. But softer. Paler. More prosperous.”

“Prosperous. Not wealthy?”

“Comfortable.”

“Complacent, even?”

“I’d be willing to go so far as vapid.”

“I can do vapid. Will you be expecting sex?”

“It’s not necessary.”

“It means nothing to me. I take it as neither pleasure nor violation. It’s included in the fee.”

“I’m not against the idea, but it’s not necessary.”

“I assure you that you do not need to be gallant, or concerned about my virtue. Unless we are to be a couple who hate one another, or who have become strangers to one another, it’s best for there to be some physical affection. It maintains the illusion of a connection. We can make it rote, more comfortable than passionate; two people who know each other and have exhausted their mutual supply of surprises. An erotic handshake. I can modulate it accordingly.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Again, there’s no need to spare me. It isn’t important. Final question: will you need me by your side every moment, wherever we’re going? Or will you wish to leave me behind for extended periods, while you do whatever it is you’re using my company to cover?”

“The latter. What I need to do I’ll need to do alone.”

“So you need me for travel, only. Let me suggest: we will be an old but not decrepit couple wed for thirty  – no, round numbers raise flags – thirty-two years, comfortable around each other, affectionate, in a union driven by familiarity that has long since been drained of all but the most perfunctory passion. She will have a history of accompanying her husband about, only to fall back on her own resources as he disappears for days at a time, dealing with local business; we’ll make her a reader, and sampler of local color, a woman with no occupation of her own who wishes she could see her husband more but is resigned to the habitual distance between them. You will have to spend some time with her, making conversation, but you can let her carry the weight of the relationship; the lonely tend to prattle. People will feel a little sorry for her and will wish you were nicer, but they will not feel they’re watching anything inauthentic, and that’s the chief concern, is it not?”

“Yes.”

“This is how it’s done. Upon the release of the necessary funds to my account, you also provide me with your specific requirements, including our full itinerary and any specifics that must be included in our cover story. I produce a life that includes shared referents that support a past spent together, personal secrets I never bothered to share with you, things I resent about your behavior that I’ve somehow never worked up enough vehemence to mention. I undergo the physical and mental conditioning that make it more than a fiction. I can have the personality in place within days. By the time we connect, I will be who I need to pretend to be, and will remain that person for the duration of our contract.”

“And after that contract?”

“Without timely payment to the account I provide, I revert to the person you see before you. I promise you, you will not want this to happen while anything still depends on the fiction remaining intact. My emotional investment in your well-being will be nil, or possibly – depending on how I’ve been treated while being the person you want me to be – even negative. In such an event, I will expose you without hesitation, regardless of the risk to myself.”

“Understood.”

“We can meet and coordinate specifics after you make the necessary transfer.”

Curiosity overcomes him before he leaves the room. “Two questions, if you don’t mind.”

“Ask.”

“First, does my agenda matter? Will you raise any moral reasons if it involves criminality?”

“I assume that’s one question, not two.”

“Yes.”

“Despite your protestations, I know your mission involves criminality, even if undertaken for the most noble reasons. That’s presumably why you hope to travel under an alias and use me as cover. But you are not asking me to participate in whatever you have planned. I don’t want the details and will cancel the contract and keep the retainer if you offer them. If we go ahead, I will document my lack of involvement and worry about the legal repercussions for myself, if we are apprehended. What is your other question?”

“It won’t happen, I assure you, but what if I were of a mind to extend our contract indefinitely? What protects you from a client who just wants a tailor-made person, to provide companionship indefinitely? Or someone who wants to use whatever bonds of love you simulate to abuse you? How do you stop that from happening?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Call it the curiosity of a man who spent too many years trafficking in lies himself, over the practical concerns ruling a business that seems to operate by many of the same parameters.”

“Very well. First: this is not just a business. This is also a lifestyle. My greatest ambition is to live an existence as free of interpersonal connections, or identity, or association with other human beings, as I can afford. I want this for reasons compelling to me that are none of your business, and are thus not open to discussion. If I were independently wealthy I would remain in this pod, without suffering connection to others, until I died of natural causes. I agree to take on temporary identities because it is how I finance living without being forced to do anything that is distasteful to me the rest of the time. Our contract will accordingly include an upper limit on acceptable duration, after which the personality I’ve assumed on your behalf will be erased, without possibility of further extension. At that time, if I find out that you have taken undue advantage of me, you will discover that I am capable of unrestrained vindictiveness. I will destroy you, if I have to. And second: I have other safeguards in place that will protect me from you if your behavior toward me ever extends outside the limited boundaries of our agreement. I am not a robot. I am an imposter. And as much as I seem to be within your power, at all times, there will always be part of me capable of declaring our contract null and void at a moment’s notice. Does that satisfy your curiosity?”

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“If I do not hear from you by end of business three days from now I will assume that you have made other arrangements. Good luck, sir.”

(For the rest of Draiken’s mission, see the current October 2016 issue of ANALOG).

On One of The Jackasses Who Seem to Follow Me About

Posted on August 24th, 2016 by Adam-Troy Castro

Originally published on Facebook 23 August 2013.

The incredible asshole encountered while boarding my plane in Atlanta. I know some of you will suspect this to be a fallacious “supermarket story.” But it is verbatim.

GUY: Did you listen to that lady?

ME: What lady?

GUY: The woman in the wheelchair. She was sitting right next to you.

ME: (Paranoid; what did I do?) No, I didn’t even notice her.

GUY: She was talking to her friend.

ME: Did I bump into her? Did I cut her off in line?

GUY: No, you did nothing. It’s just what she said. She was talking about how she’s on full disability because of her knees.

ME: So?

GUY: I think there are plenty of jobs she could do. She shouldn’t be sponging off the government.

ME: You don’t know her personal circumstances.

GUY: My knees blew out and I had three operations to make them better.

ME: That’s your circumstance. You don’t know hers.

GUY: I think this country would be a lot better off if there were fewer people sponging off the government.

ME: I think this country would be better off if there were fewer people judging total strangers in wheelchairs.

GUY: Oh. I bet you like Obama.

ME: I’ve never spoken to Obama. But I’ve known you for two minutes and so far he’s winning.

 
 
 

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