Some Guy in Malaysia Knows What WALKING DEAD Character You Are

Posted on January 26th, 2017 by Adam-Troy Castro

“Which Member of the Justice League are you?”

and the result was,

“Don’t be fucking stupid. You’re not a member of the Justice League. There’s no way ten vaguely phrased questions can possibly equate you to a fictional character from a goddamned comic book. Don’t you have ever better things to do with your time?”

I took the test:

“Which incarnation of The Doctor are you?”

and the result was,

“You’re bloody dense. You’re absolutely bloody dense. This is a goddamned click trap. For the opportunity to have some fucking two-finger computer program say you’re David Tennant, you said yes to having to some Malaysian data miner enjoy full access to your personal information. Do you give to Nigerian Princes too?”

“Which cast member of THE WALKING DEAD are you?”

and the result was,

“Jesus. Alright. You’re Lori, okay? Choke on it, why don’t you.”

Tags: comic books, Doctor Who, Justice League, The Walking Dead | Category Commentary, Humor, Life Wisdom

Donald Trump’s New Colossus

Posted on January 26th, 2017 by Adam-Troy Castro

Not like the legacy of spangled flags,
that flew vowing freedom throughout the land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates now sags
a ranting madman with a mouth, whose fame
Is for bigoted discourse, and his name,
Tweeter of Nonsense. A heart that’s vile
flings world-wide insults; and piggish eyes command
with cruelty that the copper lady now be defiled.
“Trash what we vowed, when we were great,” cries he
With ranting lips. “Lock out your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Don’t send these homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I bar the way beside the golden door!”

Tags: Assholes, Donald Trump, Politics, Republicans | Category Commentary, Life Wisdom, Politics

We All Need To Summon the Dignity Demonstrated by My Vomiting Cat

Posted on January 20th, 2017 by Adam-Troy Castro

And now, forgive me, I must expend a few words to parsing the difference between the way most human beings react to a big messy expulsion of vomitus, and the way my cat Gilbert does.

Gilbert, being a long-haired cat with a delicate stomach — albeit one whose almost daily massive BLEEAAAURGS do not seem to impact his energy level all that much — is an old hand at this, the most prolific vomiter in the house. (We have only one other, Uma; the other two being largely conscientious objectors.)

When a human being vomits, that human being usually reacts with horror and consternation. We are UPSET that we just vomited. We are shaken and even if what we just expelled leaves us feeling some relief, it is some time before we will cop to feeling a hundred percent again. Really, for one of us, a vomit can be a day-ruining experience.

Gilbert, by contrast, is not only familiar with this process but more or less inured.

It’s hard not to feel for him in the midst of the act, his stomach heaving, his tongue protruding, his whole body wracked with the effort of bringing the unwanted forth. But once it bursts from him in great quantity, he shakes his head as if to remark that, yes, this was a rough one, then determines that he is done, and happily, I tell you happily, trots off. The vomit itself is left as an exercise for Daddy. But beyond that, he is determined not to let this repellent and unpleasant development ruin his enjoyment of life. There are too many other joys to explore. Really: that happy trot speaks volumes. I just vomited, but now it’s over. And what’s next?

I envy Gilbert his resilience, and admire his attitude.

I offer his example to all of you, as today’s pressing and timely advice.

Tags: Donald Trump | Category Humor, Life Wisdom, Politics, Sneaky Metaphors