Adam-Troy Castro

Writer of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Stories About Yams.

 

Enough of This Endless Yammering About ‘Heroes”

Posted on May 15th, 2017 by Adam-Troy Castro

Originally Published in Fantastic Stories of the Imagination, February-March 2016. This is not a review of Marvel’s Jessica Jones miniseries on Netflix.

It begins there but heads other places.

If you insist, I will establish right away that the comic book it comes from, Alias, is one of my all-time favorites, that I think the miniseries does a more-or-less commendable job of capturing its spirit, that I have nits to pick but don’t see the purpose in detailing them at length. If you want the review, there it is. Party down, be hearty.

But on the way to moving on to more profitable subjects, I will note the show’s one key distinction: although it takes place on a version of New York City where not too long ago in humanity’s shared past, a bunch of gaudily-clad human beings, a thunder god, and a grunting green steroid case leveled twenty square blocks of Manhattan fighting an alien invasion fleet, and though its protagonist, primary antagonist, secondary antagonist and male romantic lead all have super-powers, it’s not supposed to be a super-hero show.

It’s supposed to be a show about an emotionally damaged female private eye. She’s strong enough to punch people through walls, and she can fly (though she denies it and in fact only reveals the knack once), but she’s not a superhero, and she’s quite prickly about that.

Fine. She’s not a superhero. We get it.

And yet: at one point in her past, her best friend Patsy Walker insists that she should be a hero, going so far as to produce a gaudy costume for her that she refuses to wear; the recovering junkie who lives in her building assures another man that she’s a hero; she insists that she’s not; she and her super-powered boyfriend Luke Cage talk about why they’re not heroes.

It’s certainly not the main issue of discussion. It may total twenty lines of dialogue in the whole thirteen-episode arc. Maybe more, maybe less.

But even spread out over thirteen episodes, twenty lines of dialogue about anything is enough to indicate a preoccupation. If on some hypothetical other serial drama you watched, characters emitted twenty lines about the sealed box on Grandpa’s mantelpiece and how, gee, nobody’s ever looked inside, you will sure as hell realize that a theme has been established and you would exist in considerable suspense anticipating the development where somebody finally decides to take a peek.

It’s really a background concern throughout. Is Jessica a hero? Should we consider her a hero? Should her friends consider her a hero? Should her boyfriend Luke concede that she’s a hero?

Thirty feet away from where I type these words, the wife is now indulging herself with a binge re-watch of a past TV treatment of super-powered people in plain clothes, Heroes. All I will say of it is that I enjoyed the bumpy but entertaining first season but grew rapidly disenchanted after that, to the point where I refused to watch the final season, pre-revival, at all. (Please: no attempts to persuade me otherwise in the comments.) But I remember the first season quite well, and I recall that there was a similar amount of discussion over whether this character or that character was a hero, could be a hero, should be a hero, needed to be a hero, and so on. This was particularly pressing in the case of a Japanese protagonist, whose name was indeed actually and somewhat brilliantly Hiro; once he found his super-powers, he declared himself a Hero and became a font of regular pronouncements about what a Hero is and what a Hero does.

You will find plenty of this in mainstream superhero comics. Some character gets superpowers and, with motivation either pressing or weak, declares that he will be a hero now. In ones written by Stan Lee or his direct imitators, this was considered such a critical moment that the declaration even came equipped with its own em-dash pause, in the middle of a sentence; i.e., “I will become — a hero!”

Throughout, there’s much talk of things heroes do and things heroes don’t do, the lines heroes won’t cross except with very powerful motivation, and so on.

You could fill a fairly hefty compendium with the declarations various heroes have made about the hero life, its rules, and its disadvantages, though to this reader’s mind, none of them live up to the one that helped start it all, “With great power, comes great responsibility.”

In the genre, hero is the actual publicly recognized noun for what they are. These characters sit around their meeting rooms and actually use that name for themselves, without irony, while discussing their lot. “How many other heroes will we need on this mission?” That kind of thing.

(This is really only true for Marvel and DC, which last I heard jointly owned the trademark for the word “Super-Hero,” which is why other publishers telling stories in the genre will use variants like “Capes” or “Supers” or “Powers;” so it is at least in part a corporate branding thing. But the nomenclature is now a firm part of the subgenre, and so the characters do spend a lot of time talking about themselves as heroes: specifically, whether they deserve to be heroes, whether they can stop being heroes, whether they should be heroes again, and so on. Witness Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight, and its oft-quoted closing monologue by James Gordon over whether Batman is the hero Gotham deserves or needs; again, the actual word “hero,” being manipulated for thematic impact.)

In Marvel’s Jessica Jones, every major character except for the villain Killgrave — and at one point even him — defines him or herself in significant measure by whether they’re a hero or not. Jessica once flirted with the idea but now says she definitely isn’t one. Her foster sister and best friend Patsy Walker would very much like to be one, and indeed operates as Hellcat in the comics. Luke Cage says he’s not going to be one, but in the comics he spent years operating a business called Heroes For Hire. Secondary antagonist Officer Simpson is based on a comics villain called Nuke, a degraded, America-as-evil-empire super-soldier follow-up to Captain America in large part motivated by outrage that our boys in uniform are not properly recognized as, you guessed it, heroes.  He certainly thinks of himself as one.

And here’s where we get to the big question, the one I’ve been setting up for 900 words.

Who the hell really talks that way about themselves, in any genre but this one?

Think of almost any thriller or action-adventure character, outside the superhero genre, no matter how heroically they act, no matter how fervently we thrill to their adventures, and ask yourselves whether they would be able to define their actions that way, with something approaching a straight face.

Indiana Jones? Please. He’s an archeologist. He only fights out of principle, as in Temple of Doom, when the outrages around him are extreme enough to piss him off.

James Bond? He’s an assassin. He saves the world in the line of duty, but he would probably be appalled to hear himself referred to as hero.

John McClane? He’s, serially, a guy in a bad situation, doing what makes sense to him.

Mad Max? He barely considers himself human.

Dirty Harry, Riggs and Murtaugh, Ethan Hunt, Jim Phelps, Laura Croft, Han Solo, Ellen Ripley…what would any of them say if you called them heroes? At best they’d offer an indulgent grin and change the subject. At worst they’d argue. Or get mad at you. 

Marshal Will Kane, from High Noon? One of the most iconic heroes in the history of movies? Is a guy who makes a decision on principle at a time in the story when it doesn’t cost him much, then finds out that none of his supposed friends is going to stand with him, and finds himself trapped in the fight of his life.

Sheriff Brody, from Jaws? He’s a guy afraid of water, who lives in a community renowned for its beaches. He goes out in a boat with two guys who are more at home in an ocean environment than he is, who are really the experts to his neophyte, and even after the shark is dead you’d certainly have a hard time getting him to agree that anything he did in the name of survival during the climax qualified as heroism.

Captain Kirk? Would change the subject. Captain Picard? Would certainly change the subject.

Frodo? Would never say that of himself. Sam? Would never say that of himself.

Jon Snow? Would never say that of himself.

Hawkeye (not the Avenger or the wisecracking surgeon, but the guy from Last Of the Mohicans)? The Daniel Day-Lewis movie stages three of the greatest race-to-the-rescue sequences in the history of cinema. Seriously. If you haven’t seen it you really gotta. Would he worry about whether he was a hero? Of course he wouldn’t.

The protagonists of THE GUNS OF NAVARONE, one of the greatest men-on-a-deadly-serious-mission movies ever made? Really, if you haven’t seen it, you really gotta; they go behind Nazi lines to pull off an impossible mission, and few movies have ever done it better. There are exactly zero, zero lines between them over whether they qualify as heroes. They have a deadly serious job to do and they suck it up and they do it, against terrible opposition. They don’t talk about whether they’re heroes. EVER.

You want exceptions? Fine, I’ll give you exceptions, D’Artagnan, who is the protagonist of The Three Musketeers but not actually one of that trio, aspires to being a hero, of the sort that he’s spent his childhood hearing about; it is indeed what drives him. But he’s also a bit of an ass and the long novel is about the tension between his dreams and the messy reality. Don Quixote also aspires to being a hero. But he’s a demented fool. There are your exceptions.

Look at the precise genre JESSICA JONES is supposed to be in. She’s a private detective. Look at the other iconic detectives of the genre. Would Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe ever describe himself as a hero? Certainly not; he’s just a guy investigating stuff, who sometimes gets in trouble and has to fight his way out of it. Would Dashiell Hammett’s Sam Spade ever worry about whether he’s a hero? He’s a son of a bitch who would probably wearily deny it. Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot? He would probably laugh out loud at the inanity.

Sherlock Holmes? In the short story “The Final Problem,” his most fervent champion, Doctor John Watson, believing his old friend dead, calls him “the best and the wisest man I have ever known.” I can imagine Watson saying that; it’s wholly appropriate that Watson would say that. By that point in the canon he has seen Holmes show great courage in the face of evil; but he does not use the word hero, nor would Holmes ever stand still for it.

For all of them, it’s a job.

They do what they have to do, in any given situation.

This applies to the real world as well.

In all my life I have been involved in exactly one moment of split-second decision-making, with life-or-death consequences, edging toward what others might call heroism, myself. I don’t want another.

Years ago, driving down a busy six-lane commercial highway in Yonkers, New York, I saw a probably confused old man attempting to cross six lanes of heavy traffic stumble off the median and into my lane, two car-lengths ahead of me.

I cut the wheel hard to the right in order to avoid him, expecting my own death any moment as the road behind me grew loud with the sounds of frantic horns and squealing brakes. I hopped my car over a curb a hundred feet further up the road, abandoned it, and ran back along the side of the road, fearing that what I’d find where I left an old man would instead be a bloody corpse, flattened by one of the drivers behind me.

I was fully prepared to race across three lanes of heavy traffic, damning my own safety, to rescue the man. I was aware of the risks to myself but didn’t care. I needed to save that man.

The story doesn’t build to a thrilling climax, as fiction would. By the time I got there, a witness had already gotten to him, and seen to his safety. I ascertained that I wasn’t needed and returned to my car with shaking hands and pounding heart.

It’s because the story ends without a completed act of life-saving action on my part that I can even tell you about it without self-consciousness.

But had my intervention been necessary, would I have been a hero?

I would have been aware that people might have thought so, but I would have felt like a fraud, for accepting the label. I would have said, “No, I just did the only thing I could do.” Which is indeed the answer given by anyone who jumps into a river to save another human being from drowning, or who braves flames to save a child, or who stands between an angry mob and the people they seek to hurt. They did the only thing they could do.

Cops, soldiers, firemen, EMT workers, all have no problem calling others like themselves heroes, for courage above and beyond the line of duty. That’s what medals and commendations are for. But when the words are applied to themselves, the individuals almost always say that they’re uncomfortable with the term, because they were just doing what they had to do, in a tough situation.

People, no matter how heroic, even those who risk their lives daily, don’t call themselves heroes, don’t make the conscious decision to make themselves heroes, don’t tear themselves into rhetorical knots worrying about whether they can be heroes or should be heroes or deserve to be called heroes. They just do what makes sense in the situation.

Only in this particular genre — and Jessica Jones is a superhero character, even if she exists out by the margins — do people worry, at length, over whether they deserve the label.

It’s one of the more annoying tics of a genre with a number of annoying tics, whether the specific iterations are good or bad or anything in between.

Really. These people really do need to get over themselves.

 

Great Stories Are Not For Escaping. They’re for Re-Connecting.

Posted on May 9th, 2017 by Adam-Troy Castro

Originally published on Facebook (in slightly different form) 9 May 2015.

You know, there’s a great – devastating, but great – story from the early days of the AIDS epidemic, culminating when the nurse-narrator hugs a patient in the last stages of the disease. He bursts into tears. “Oh, thank you, thank you,” he weeps. “It’s been so long since anybody touched me.”

There’s a great – not quite as devastating, but just as resonant for our purposes – moment in Stanley Tucci’s great film BIG NIGHT — based on a top tier screenplay by Howard Rodman —  where a woman is reduced by tears by a gourmet feast. “My mother was a terrible cook,” she cries. An actual emotional release, from cooking.

A question has been asked: what makes a good story.

It’s a pressing question, but a great one; the problem is that it’s vaguely phrased and therefore does not address all the myriad things a top-tier story can do.

I think it’s more instructive to address the difference between a good story and a great story.

And this applies to all stories, from jokes to TV commercials to novelettes to novels.

It has become increasingly popular to praise stories for being escapist. For taking us away from the world of the 9 to 5 grind and the problems with Mom and the appalling headline news and making us forget ourselves, for a while. And that is a key function of a story, to be sure.

A good story can do that.

But isn’t it just as legitimate to say that we lose ourselves in all that clutter and that a great story that help us get back in touch with who we are?

A great story touches us in a place that we forgot we knew how to be touched.

A good story takes us away.

A great story delivers us back home.

A good story touches us.

A great story, like the great meal of BIG NIGHT, touches us in a place where we didn’t know we could be touched.

Why do we weep so hard at the end of LORENZO’S OIL, for instance? Why do we weep so hard for Eponine, in any good adaptation of LES MISERABLES? Not just because sad things are happening; sad things are always happening. (In STAR WARS, when Princess Leia’s planet is destroyed, complete with the billions of people on it, we forget about by the next scene – and more to the point, so does she, pretty much.) We weep because we have been massaged into an empathy so deep that it touches it in places we didn’t know we could be touched. We have been brought back to ourselves. We have been delivered to our own souls.

This is not just true of tragedies, mind you.

A great story of a lived childhood can stand in for all childhoods, even if it doesn’t resemble our own in any respect. A CHRISTMAS STORY didn’t make me cry once. But I grinned like a loon throughout it, crying, “That was me! That was me!” Even though I didn’t grow up in the thirties and have never celebrated Christmas and certainly never wanted a Red Ryder B-B Gun. That was me; the rhythms of childhood was there, and the film put me there. It touched me past all my adult armor and brought forth from me the thrill of recognition.

Escapist stories can have that. Some do. But so many of them are closed systems, intersecting only with the universe they create, and while they might do that brilliantly enough for us to be drawn in and feel the thrill of identification, they miss the a-ha moment, the rush of recognition, the thrill of being touched in a place that needs to be touched. (Of course, some of us so completely internalize such fictions that we then feel such jolts when we are massaged in familiar ways, when it is that which is touched; to wit, the fist-pump when we recognize the Cosmic Cube as the device we first saw when we were reading and grooving to comic books. That is touching part of us, in the sense that these mythologies have become part of us. One of the great attributes of THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS was, indeed, its canny recognition that so many of us wanted to see Batman beat the tar out of Superman, just once. It’s a great moment, more powerful by far to those who have spent a lifetime reading comics than it is to those who pick up that book alone and wonder what the fuss is about. It is just not to be mistaken, in personal impact, for the moment we are given, in a story about families, for instance, when we realize that we were insensitive little shits as children and that our mothers loved us anyway.)

The stories that touch us most deeply are those that, literally, touch us most deeply, in those places where we forgot what it was like to be touched. Or even better, those that plant in our most barren soil new organs of feeling that didn’t exist before, well-springs of empathy for those whose plights we never considered, but now recognize as linked by humanity to our own. Or, in science fiction, those that make us consider ideas that we never entertained before – and if they *also* return us back to our humanity, by showing us how that intersects, then so much the better?

A story about two spaceships going pew-pew-pew at one another? If it has nothing but thrills to offer us? Might well be diverting. Might well take us away from ourselves, in the way that it’s intended to. Might even get us to care deeply about the characters. But if it just takes us away, and then doesn’t bring us back, it can only be a good story, to one degree or another. It cannot be a great one, in the sense that a simulated taste, let’s say a spoonful of flavoring with no caloric value, might indeed be delicious but will never be filling. It is not an actual meal unless it fills us. And THAT is the difference between a good story and a great one. It has to leave us possessing more than we had when it started.

Writers Should Not Let Scorpions Nest on Their Sensitive Flesh

Posted on May 7th, 2017 by Adam-Troy Castro

Originally published on Facebook 7 May 2013. Edited for this publication. 

Josh Olson, a screenwriter, wrote an essay called “I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script.” Its thesis was that if you had a nephew or a cousin or next door neighbor of friend of a plumber who wanted Josh to read his screenplay and give him all sorts of advice, Josh will say no, likely more politely than his title.

Many readers, ignoring everything he says therein, stampede to the interpretation that he contends that nobody in the writing business should ever help any up-and-comers, at any point, at any time, even though somebody must have once helped him.

Dig this, shmucks: he’s not saying that. He’s not saying that at all.

I have the same policy. I will not read your unpublished novel. I will not. You cannot get me to.

UNLESS you’re a professional I respect with a specific question.

OR an actual friend for whom I feel the obligation to provide my professional eye.

OR a student in a workshop I’m affiliated with.

OR somebody whose early work has impressed me and who I have volunteered to teach independently.

Note that this constitutes an awful lot of exceptions.

But will not and cannot offer this service for the boyfriends of cousins or the sister of the exterminator or people who come up to me at parties and think it’s something I should do just for the asking.

It’s a favor, and a time-consuming favor, and if I did just that for everybody who asked, I would have no time to live let alone write.

He is not saying that he will not pay forward.

All of us pay forward.

I am currently helping to run a workshop with six other writers, of which only two others are published, and none are published at my level. The two others have managed to get a couple of short stories apiece into professional-level markets; one has published semi-pro novels at minimal rates; it’s something, but they have a distance to go.

Between all of them that is a monthly delivery of about two hundred pages, some of which is a slog to get through, and all of which has to be gone through line by line with a sometimes VERY intrusive red pen.

I am also soon traveling a significant distance to give a lecture to student writers; and if you factor in the time it takes to write the lecture and the time it takes to travel and the time it takes to give it and return, not to mention the haul, that is an awful lot of effort for someone who “won’t pay forward.”

I will happily give you all the career advice you could possibly want, which seems laughable to me, as I am still not setting the world on fire, a quarter of a century in. I’m not George R.R. Martin. If you’re just starting out I have things to say. I can save you some heartbreak and I have no problem taking my time to do so. Neither does Josh. But you cannot ask me to “just” read your unpublished novel and “fix” it for you. That’s too much to ask. I don’t have the time and you’re an asshole for asking.

And then there’s this, something which his celebrated essay doesn’t even mention except in passing:

Some of those strangers approaching us for this time-consuming service?

Are.

Dangerously crazy.

I’m talking Annie Wilkes crazy. I’m talking Sandra-Bernhard in KING OF COMEDY crazy.

Let me tell you one from my personal experience.

I had made a deal with a small production company to write a science fiction movie for them. (The movie never materialized, but don’t read anything into that. Here’s the saddest part of the business: it almost never does. Josh is an incredibly busy screenwriter who is often paid very well for projects that then pass on to other hands; and this is profoundly irritating to him and to others like me who see his talent and would like more of it to get through the filter; but it is not unusual. William Goldman wrote THE PRINCESS BRIDE and BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID and MARATHON MAN and a bunch of other screenplays you have heard about and a bunch, a big bunch, of others that he labored on and agonized over and that never got made; he once contemplated suicide because his dream project, THE RIGHT STUFF, fell into the hands of a director who simply didn’t agree with his take and dumped it, for what eventually got made. And no, that doesn’t mean that his take sucked. It happens to the absolute best.)

So: back to me. I have made this deal and I am in a public place working alongside the producers to present concept art and to drum up interest. There is some. Everything looks good.

Along comes a fellow who is, I have got to tell you, physically repulsive.

I need to parse this carefully.

I mean what I say when I say, “physically repulsive.”

I am no Adonis myself. I’m a fat and rumpled guy. I endeavor to be a clean one. He is physically repulsive. He is covered with a thin layer of grease. You know the shiny way your hands look when you have been eating hot buttered corn on the cob and it’s drenched them all the way to the wrists? BEFORE you get to a napkin or a sink? That’s the way this guy looks, all over. He is that shiny. I mean, he’s lubed. It’s a wonder he doesn’t slide off the planet. His hair is unkempt and loose strands are plastered to his forehead with sweat. I don’t recall that he smelled bad, but I don’t know, maybe I just wasn’t inhaling through my nose that day.

He is physically repulsive in the extreme but I make no assumptions regarding his character.

He tells me that he is a big fan of mine, and provides various titles to prove it. I have since come to the conclusion that he never read word one, but googled me on the way in.

I thank him.

He introduces himself. He says that he is also a professional writer. He tells me that he wrote several episodes of one incarnation of STAR TREK, and a few other TV shows.

This is more than I have ever accomplished. I am a print guy. I congratulate him.

He asks if it’s okay with me if he talks to my producers about a project he has in mind. If he can tell them I said it was okay.

They are standing ten feet away. He does not need my permission to cross the room. They are approachable people. They are there to talk to the public. It seems odd that he would need permission from me. I suppose he is excessively concerned about stepping on my toes. I shrug and tell him go ahead. He can say I said it was okay.

He goes. Last time I ever speak to him.

Now, I do not know this at the time, but on the basis of his two minutes of conversation with me he introduces himself to my producers as a long-term friend of mine, and my permission to cross the room and talk to them as my fervent recommendation of, and deep admiration of, his script. He tells them that I have personally vouched for him and for his work.

They find this odd, too, especially since they’re scrambling to launch the project we’re working on together, but out of respect for me they naively agree to take his screenplay, which he (of course) happens to have on him. They report later that it has the same greasy texture as the rest of him. It is like he’s been keeping it in an oil-changing bay. It, of course, looks like it has already been handled by many different hands. It is far too short for a full-length movie: maybe seventeen pages. They take it thinking it might be a proposal.

Within twenty four hours he calls them demanding to know whether they have read it yet.

This is a no-no. He should give them weeks. Sometimes the gatekeepers get to your work within a day and sometimes they have so much else to read that it takes months. He asks within a day. Asshole amateur arrogance. But he demands to know. They have been busy with life, with families, with paying work, and haven’t looked at it yet.

He calls again a day later. More insistently. With irritation.

They realize they better get this guy’s major malfunction out of the way, and read his script. It only takes a few minutes. One reads it, then the other.

They compare notes, just to confirm that neither one of them is hallucinating.

The script is not just covered with grease.

It is not just sub-par.

It is not just bad.

It is not just one of the worst things they have ever read.

It is psychotic and it is disturbing.

Seventeen pages of illiterate, violent misogyny, written in first person despite being in screenplay form, no story at all, just the man’s greasy wet-dream id-fantasy, transcribed in all its ugliness. Things his protagonist does to a helpless woman. The average torture porn producer would puke.

He calls again while they are still debating how to respond to him. (Especially since, remember, they still believe him to be such a good friend of mine, and they are worried about my feelings as well.)

They tell him that they have read it and that it is not a project they choose to get involved with.

That is ALL they say.

He starts screaming at them that this is breach of a handshake contract, that they have agreed to make a movie out of his screenplay, that he has been telling people he sold a screenplay and that he has been humiliated, that he knows that they will steal his brilliant idea, and that if they EVER make a movie of any kind he will sue them into the ground. He demands an amount of money they do not have. Now. Or, again, he will sue.

They are shaken when they hang up the phone.

Now, remember: he has contrived to hitch his name to my name, using the weight of my reputation to bolster his.

There are producers in Hollywood now who, based on this experience, would not just fire me from the project but let it be widely known that *I* am too crazy and unstable to deal with. What this guy has already done, to these small players, is insane enough to have ruined my career, if I was working with big players.

But these guys are friends of mine. They take a step that it is possible Katzenberg or Spielberg, with all they have to deal with, would not take. They call me to get a reality check.

In hesitant voices, they ask me if this greaseball is really a long-term friend of mine.

I erupt with rage. I tell them, hell no. I met him two minutes before you did. He just asked me if it was okay with me if he told them I said it was okay to approach you.

They look up his professional credits.

There are none.

He has never sold a STAR TREK episode.

As near as we can figure it out, he got a polite rejection slip from Paramount once.

They consult their attorney — more mess they have to deal with — and then they call him back. They tell the greasy fellow that his screenplay is shit and that the only plagiarism suit he can win is one filed after he investigates what they leave in the toilet after a fast-food burrito. Only if their bowel movement is greasy enough can he make a case that they copied his work.

They tell him he will not get a dime, not a dime. They tell him that if he sues they will counter-sue him for harassment and they will win. They tell him that the biggest piece of evidence on their side is the screenplay, read into evidence at any trial, for the horror of any judge and jury. They will make a point of doing this, to humiliate him. They tell him that if he ever bothers them, or me, again, they will ruin him.

And he goes away.

They only heard from him one more time: when one of them was at a science fiction convention and spotted him at the registration desk, telling the folks behind the desk that he was a big-name author and that it was criminal of them to not let him in for free. I was at that same convention and saw him approaching other professionals, names you would know, to look at his screenplay. We made it our business to go to every professional there and warn them off. The guy had one scam, and one scam only, and he was determined to ride it to the grave.

I repeat what I said before telling my story.

Some of those strangers approaching us for this time-consuming service.

Are.

Dangerously crazy.

I’m talking Annie Wilkes crazy. I’m talking Sandra-Bernhard in KING OF COMEDY crazy.

Had this guy had more on the ball, and had my producers been less invested in me as a friend, this guy could have ruined me. He at the very least could have extorted them. He was *dangerous*, just not good at being dangerous.

And you think it’s arrogant for Josh, for David Gerrold, for Harlan Ellison, for anybody, to politely say no to ANY total stranger or distant acquaintance to just wants us to take a week or more out of our lives, on demand, to shepherd their work to professional level?

You STILL think so?

Fine. Here’s what you do.

Sell a million-dollar screenplay first. Or a bestselling novel.

Then prove your moral superiority by taking all comers.

 
 
 

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