Adam-Troy Castro

Writer of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Stories About Yams.

 

Tennessee Williams Made A Zombie Movie

Posted on August 9th, 2018 by Adam-Troy Castro

Last night, watched SUDDENLY LAST SUMMER (1959), starring Katherine Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor, and Montgomery Clift, which Gore Vidal expanded off the one-act play by Tennessee Williams. First time for me, recorded off TCM.

Oh, boy.

With dialogue and performances occupying the precise intersection between poetry and overbearing pretension, the story’s about a wealthy southern matriarch (Hepburn), who asks a doctor (Clift) to investigate whether it would be a good idea to lobotomize her institutionalized niece (Taylor), one year after the horrific death of her son.

It’s one of the several Tennessee Williams plays bowdlerized for the movies where the screenplay by necessity spends so much time dancing around a key character’s homosexuality, a horrible condition central to the plot, that some audiences of the day must have wondered just what the hell everybody was spinning so many florid metaphors about. (This fate also befell THE CHILDREN’S HOUR by Lillian Hellman.) I am under no such restriction, and therefore happily report that the trauma everybody’s not talking about involves the man in question (a reputedly gifted poet who produced one poem a year, thus making him fortunate he was rich), being pursued, torn to pieces and cannibalized by an angry gang of youths in Spain, after (it is strongly implied) he spent much of the summer buggering some of them. This is of course not homosexuality but pederasty, and neither is any excuse to go around eating people in the street. Eating people is weird.

(Maybe this is Tennessee Williams’s zombie movie. It would explain a lot.)

Elizabeth Taylor’s character is the cousin he traveled with, whose purpose as his companion was to attract prospects into his circle. He was otherwise totally uninterested in her. I find it interesting that Taylor was cast more than once as the woman whose proximity to a dude with no interest in her functions as proof that, Jeezus, he must be gay or something (the other that comes to mind being CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF). I agree, it’s fairly compelling evidence. Presumably, if they made similar movies about lesbians back then, the neglected dude would be Cary Grant. That would be just as eloquent.

As presented, it is mostly an excuse for the two ladies to emote, while Clift mostly hovers asking them leading questions so they can. (He was struggling with drug addiction at the time, and it was reported in the TCM intro that both his leading ladies were very protective of him, which is nice.) Hepburn in particular has an epic monologue about birds attacking newly hatched sea turtles that is fraught with cosmic significance and which she recites staring into the mid-distance, aware that this is her big moment. It’s Hepburn, so it doesn’t suck, but Judi and I were highly aware of the symbolic weight — as even a Michael Bay audience would be — and so it felt odd to be sitting there and not taking notes. Turtles. Right.

The oddest and funniest moment comes when Clift visits Taylor in the asylum where she’s been confined, and she’s wearing no makeup, and so she apologizes for how she looks, saying that she’s not normally this ugly. Yeah, Elizabeth Taylor apologizes for looking like such a sack of shit. This is especially funny because she is Elizabeth Taylor and she of course that had genuine mutation, an actual superpower that might have gotten her into the X-Men, double lashes, which means that even rolling out of bed she looked like she was wearing expertly applied eyeliner. I’m sorry I look so ugly, I promise, I clean up well. Hard as it might be to believe, fella. Elizabeth Taylor, people. I mean.

I found it a slog, honestly, and I *like* CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF, which dealt with some of the same themes but was a hell of a lot easier to take. But if you want to watch it, watch it for Hepburn and Taylor.

For Whom The Cat Bleuuuurghs

Posted on August 7th, 2018 by Adam-Troy Castro

One of the odder manifestations of life with four cats involves their vomiting.

Yes, this is disgusting. I am talking about vomit, of course it’s disgusting. If you cannot take it, read no further.

Almost all the vomiting that takes place in this house involves Gilbert and Uma. It is a function of Gilbert’s long hair and the haste he takes in eating, and of Uma’s delight in grooming everybody. Rare indeed is the day when we don’t get a contribution from one or the other, and it is usually both.

Whenever there is a vomit, the question gets shouted from one human, to the other: “Is it Gilbert, or Uma?”

The other two are never even considered. They are presumed innocent.

Now, Gilbert spent a month or so away from us in the home of a friend whose adoption of him didn’t take. (Persnickety landlord.) She noted Gilbert’s daily vomits and thought there was something seriously wrong with him. The answer, of course, is that there is not. He is a long-haired cat. He is a binge eater. Vomiting is his thing. Once he re-entered our home, it became our responsibility, and we roll our eyes and clean up after him, feeling no special concern for the state of his health. His weight is actually perfect, according to the vet. It is just something that happens.

Then, recently, Farrow vomited.

First time in years.

You would think it a major medical emergency. OH MY GOD! FARROW VOMITED ONCE! THAT’S NOT RIGHT! SHE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!

She seemed okay enough, and so we calmed down, feeling better after the absence of recurrences.

And then, also recently, Harley vomited. Again, first time in years.

OHMYGOD! WHAT’S WRONG WITH HARLEY?

Hundreds of yearly vomits from the cats who vomit, we shrug and clean up and take in our stride. *One* vomit from the cats who don’t vomit and we totally lose our shit.

This has been an adventure in cat ownership.

On The Treatment Trump People Have Been Getting in Public Places

Posted on June 24th, 2018 by Adam-Troy Castro

A proud military man of my acquaintance writes,

“I don’t know why people say liberals are so tolerant, when they act like this!

“Me and some of my buddies were in uniform, but off-duty, at a casino in the desert. The elite types also patronizing the place stared daggers at us, but we weren’t having any of their crap. We were minding our own business, blowing off some steam.

“What with one thing or another, we ended up around the piano bar and somebody started playing a favorite patriotic song of ours. We were in full voice, having a great time, when all of a sudden, this egghead marches up to the band and says, ‘Play the Marsellaise! PLAY IT!”

“They strike up the song and everybody starts belting it out at the top of their lungs, just to drown us out.

“Now, you would think that our money was as good as anybody’s, but I happened to be looking at the band at the time, and wouldn’t you know it, the conductor looked at the owner of the place, a guy who always claimed to be above politics, and he gave the nod! He let them know it was okay to treat us that way! Like all entertainment people, he just wants to tear down our institutions!”

“The laugh’s on him though! I would have been happy enough to just boycott the joint, because I never liked it anyway, but our Major had a talk with the local cops and shut it down! Go crying to your mother, snowflakes!”

 
 
 

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