So there was a married couple. Let us call them John and Mary.
And they were not bad people, but they both had a stubborn streak a mile long. Let an argument begin, and it would occupy their day.
The complaints they had with each other became familiar to the point of memorization, but just to even mention them meant taking up a whole lot of time.
It became exhausting, arguing all day long about, for instance, him dropping his socks next to the hamper instead of in it.
Soon, they were doing nothing but arguing.
But then they got a piece of advice that saved their marriage. Since the arguments were familiar to both of them, why did they have to be repeated in full, every time? Why could they not be numbered for convenience?
They tried this, and what they found out was that when an argument sounded like,
“37!”
“41!”
“52 Point Three!”
…the same ground could be covered in a fraction of a time, and more time was left for, you know, enjoying each other.
They later admitted that this method, above all else, was the chief thing that helped get their marriage past the rough spots. They needed these numbers.
Their relationship had become code dependent.
Comment By: Michael Fay
July 16th, 2017 at 12:17 pm
*groan*
Comment By: Michael Pullmann
July 16th, 2017 at 12:17 pm
Boooooooo.
Comment By: Alvaro Zinos-Amaro
July 16th, 2017 at 1:19 pm
Oy 🙂
Comment By: Galen Strickland
July 16th, 2017 at 1:19 pm
Refresh my memory please. Which Circle of Hell did Dante say was reserved for purveyors of puns?
Comment By: Jason Sartin
July 16th, 2017 at 1:19 pm
All the circles. Purveyors of puns have to cycle through all the circles of hell. The infernal powers don’t want them to get numb to any one torment.
Comment By: Paul Anderson
July 16th, 2017 at 2:17 pm
The outer ditch – alongside Pope Celestine and other people too base for Hell.
Comment By: Daniel Basch-Tetreault
July 16th, 2017 at 8:18 pm
So, the reason Dante & Virgil were able to get through Hell was because they were constantly making terrible jokes?? I must’ve missed that version of The Divine Comedy.
Comment By: Jason Sartin
July 16th, 2017 at 9:17 pm
Well, that aspect of it probably wasn’t something they were proud of…
Comment By: Michael S. Dow
July 16th, 2017 at 1:19 pm
There is a special place in heaven for you.
Comment By: John Hudgens
July 16th, 2017 at 1:19 pm
Comment By: William C Roeben
July 16th, 2017 at 2:17 pm
…you… made my browser open a new tab… for THAT… CURSE YOU BARON!
Comment By: Mickie
July 16th, 2017 at 1:51 pm
Bahahahaha! I am so envious – I dearly love puns – thank you 🙂
Comment By: Mark Richards
July 16th, 2017 at 3:17 pm
We still really need a “like” emoji for groaning.
Comment By: Rob Wynne
July 16th, 2017 at 6:14 pm
“But,when he said 84, you got *really* mad. What was that about?”
“Oh, well…..*that* argument we’d never had before.”