(Sigh) I hate being obliged to defend Donald Trump, which is why it irritates me that the more enthusiastic anti-Trumpers among you sometimes put me in that position.
To wit: even though we are predisposed to think of the man as terrible in every way, because in many ways he is, and even though this narrative is rewarded by any evidence including much I believe that Melania is miserable in their marriage, it is goddamned silly to crow over footage from their Mideast trip that appears to show her slapping his hand away when he went to hold hers.
I have seen these few random seconds and their significance is nil. In the first place, she didn’t slap his hand away, she just brushed his hand away. In the second, and I cannot put this clearly enough, this is the kind of thing that happens in even the happiest of marriages, even when there is no current reason for anger. It is possible to be walking along with someone who loves you dearly, go for her hand, and have her hand evade yours, the message being no worse than a neutral, “No, I don’t feel like doing that right now.” Honestly. You will see that among the most nauseating, sweetsie-poo honeymooners, and it doesn’t mean anything, beyond what I summarize it as, “No, I don’t feel like doing that right now.”
A paranoid husband will wonder, “What did she mean by that?” A good husband will say, “Well, in the absence of further evidence she’s upset, I will assume that she doesn’t want to endure my sweaty palms right now.”
I understand that the preferred narrative is a tempting one, but the moment, just the moment, does not support it. It will not support the headlines even if it generates a number of clicks that head for seven digits.
This is nonsense on the level of the turds the right-wingers used to drop on the Obamas every day. Look! She’s giving him a sideways look! What’s going on in their marriage? My God! She must secretly hate him! I bet you he’s secretly gay and it’s a sham marriage! The kids were trafficked in from Kenya!
Melania brushed his hand away! SHE HATES HIM!
Same thing. No, don’t argue. It’s the same goddamned thing.
People will respond to this post by bringing up additional evidence that the Trump marriage is an unhappy one. I’m sure you have it. I happen to believe it, myself. Nothing we know about the man suggests that he’s a day in the park. But all that is irrelevant to the significance of this one captured moment. This one captured moment is total bullshit, and it is a distraction, and it is unworthy of us.
Comment By: Michael Roberts
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
Share the clip of a terrified Steve Bannon surrounded by Muslims instead. It’s way funneri.
Comment By: W. Owen Powell
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
That it is.
https://media.giphy.com/media/xUPGcnil447oSlXq5G/giphy.gif
Comment By: Reggie May
May 22nd, 2017 at 2:17 pm
“oh, no… I’m in… SAUDI ARABIA!!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhgFDo7XPu0
Comment By: Kathryn Kasprzak
May 22nd, 2017 at 3:17 pm
What it’s like to be “the Other.”
Comment By: Tamra Heathershaw-Hart
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
I have very cold hands — I can’t even count the number of times my husband has done that to me! (I get revenge by patting his cheeks with my ice hands or placing my ice feet on his bare legs when he’s least expecting it, which is another typical marriage thing.) And don’t get me started on how annoying it is to be wearing high heels and have the flat-shoe-wearing male grab your hand to hurry you along — we women are just one step away from a broken ankle in those shoes and we’ll walk at our own dang pace, thankyouverymuch.
Comment By: Adam-Troy Castro
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
I have always walked faster than my wife and I tend to orbit her, gaining ground, stopping, gaining ground, stopping. Holding hands is, for both of us, a pain in the ass.
Comment By: Cathy Becker Gonzalez
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
I looked at the video and came to the same conclusion. Even if she did, who cares? That’s between them.
Comment By: T-Roy Lent
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
I wondered if there was some kind of protocol that she remembered and he did not.
Comment By: Jason Bennion
May 22nd, 2017 at 2:17 pm
A friend of mine suggested the same thing while we were talking about it, that she might have been mindful of a Saudi thing about men and women holding hands…
Comment By: Brenda Balin
May 22nd, 2017 at 3:17 pm
Doubtful. She didn’t wear a headscarf. I don’t think she’s all that obsessed with honoring local custom.
Comment By: Joe Frietze
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
Share this instead
Comment By: Rusel DeMaria
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
There is so much to focus on that matters. Why must people be so petty and try to dissect every action and every personal moment of the people in the spotlight? Because they look for every way to dehumanize them. Now I’ll admit that 45 is a very poor excuse for a human being, but his crimes and flaws are vastly greater and of more significance than his relationship with his wife or hers with him.
Comment By: Heather Park-Albertson
May 22nd, 2017 at 6:17 pm
Yeah, this. I didn’t share the poopy pants photo either, because anyone can suffer that from food poisoning or the flu.
If the photo illustrates yet one more flaming hypocrisy of his, sure. This stuff? Kinda unimportant.
Comment By: Wrenn Simms
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
I did not see a slap. Their hands were swinging, he did reach back, but there was no movement to slap him away. Their ha de touched, is all, and she moved a different way than he did.
Honestly, to me it looked like he reached to bring her up even with him, and she did not want that, she wanted to be on the periphery behind him. She stayed bear, just not next to, where she’d have to be involved in the conversation.
Comment By: Doranna Durgin
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
I saw it as a clear rejection–very much “get out of my space, fool.” But I’m not sharing it because, um, so what? And also, the more focus it gets, the more likely that she’s going to take crap for setting her boundaries. Not exactly the desired outcome.
Comment By: Richard Von Busack
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
Yeah, it doesn’t signify. Let’s pay more attention to the real evil stuff he’s doing.
Comment By: Deborah Dormitzer
May 22nd, 2017 at 1:17 pm
It’s a level of minutia and akin to baseless gossip — and moreover it is wasted focus when we have so many serious things to pay attention to in the DT regime.
Comment By: Laura Resnick
May 22nd, 2017 at 2:17 pm
Yeah, I saw that and thought, oh, come on, who knows what that means–IF ANYTHING? It could be, “No, don’t hold my hand, you look more presidential walking ahead of me on your own.” Since we can’t see her eyes, we can’t even be positive she knew it was his hand or that he was deliberately reaching for her. It could be, “No, dear, my hand is sticky just now, you really don’t want to hold it.” It could be, “I think power couples look dumb walking with their hands held, so, no, let’s NOT imitate these gauche Netanyahus.” It could be, “This is a dangerous place, Donald, please keep your hands free or self defense at all times.” Or it could be, “oops, sorry I just hit your hand with mine, didn’t I? oh, well.” Or it could be, “Don’t touch me, I am pissed off at you right now,” which is a normal part of relationships and not a big deal–famous people just happen to get noticed in these ordinary moments.
Comment By: Bianca DiRuocco
May 22nd, 2017 at 2:17 pm
There are a *lot* more things worth paying attention to than the state of the Trump marriage.
Comment By: Drew Bittner
May 22nd, 2017 at 2:17 pm
It’s irrelevant.
Comment By: Tessa Ryan-Lipp
May 22nd, 2017 at 2:13 pm
It looked to me as if he felt around to make sure she was keeping up and she waggled her hand to say I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I’m as avid a T***p-hater as they come, but we can’t keep running down these rat holes every time somebody tweets some nonsense.
Comment By: Debra Wallace Day
May 22nd, 2017 at 3:17 pm
I don’t know why people are even worried about the hand holding thing when this happened:
Comment By: Amy Hays Craane
May 22nd, 2017 at 3:17 pm
Ha! You crack me up!
Comment By: Sunshine Sally DeGamble Johnson
May 22nd, 2017 at 4:17 pm
every time someone has shared the video, I’ve replied “PORN flotus … I mean ‘poor flotus… no, I meaNT PORN flotus” hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Comment By: Heather Park-Albertson
May 22nd, 2017 at 6:17 pm
Really important reason you shouldn’t open or share those kinds of posts: liberals are being actively targeted with malware-carrying clickbait exactly like this story. One site carrying them is happy-foxie.
Comment By: James Mortimer-Fox
May 23rd, 2017 at 2:19 am
It is very frustrating. Donald Trump is an easy target, but it is insane how far people will reach. It was like when people got upset he played golf on Mother’s day. See I laughed because that day is for mother and child, thus he a day off.
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