Adam-Troy Castro

Writer of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Stories About Yams.

 

Stop! I’m Not Done Being An Asshole Yet!

Posted on September 16th, 2015 by Adam-Troy Castro

Stop!

Don’t walk away!

Don’t you get it? I’m STILL MAD!

I still think I haven’t gotten my due!

I still want to take up your time with my grievances!

I declare when the argument’s over!

And it will never be over! Not as long as you still haven’t conceded my every point!

You owe me an apology for not giving me my way!

You owe me another apology just for owing me an apology!

I’m right! You’re wrong! No other nuance is possible!

You’re Nazis if you believe otherwise!

I’m — hey!

Don’t Interrupt!

La La La! I’m not listening! La la la!

Wait!

Don’t walk away! I’M STILL TALKING!

Stop OPPRESSING me! I’m still mad!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

This VILE NEGLECT of yours must stop! It interferes with my rights!

Stop! Stop! Stop! I will not PERMIT you to move on to other business!

Not until I win! Stop!

I’m going to sue you!

Wait! Wait! Stop! Wait! Wait! Stop! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Stop! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Stop! Wait!

Guys! Where are you all going?

Can I come?

15 Responses to "Stop! I’m Not Done Being An Asshole Yet!"

  1. *

  2. Monologues of the artificially outraged.

  3. Good luck with that.
    *hands over a cupcake and strolls away*

  4. Beautifully explicated, well vented, sir! These folks give Granny an overwhelming desire to say, “C’mon, dear, it’s time for your nap. Do you need a clean didie first? “

  5. Hilarious

  6. Alas they are whining too loud to hear you.

  7. Brilliant. And applicable to so many situations, not just the one to which you are alluding. 😉

  8. Someone painted on the barn this morning: “All nerds are equal, but some nerds are more equal than others.”

  9. (Singing) “It’s beginning to smell a lot like Cat Piss…”

  10. If this can be taken as a reference to various of the puppies, they can rest assured that they will certainly not be forgotten. Fandom has a long memory. That’s why we still sing about bouncing potatoes, and what shall we do with the hotel manager, and discuss who got excluded from the 1939 Worldcon, and why a certain NASFiC is known as “ConDigeo.” And so many, many other things.
    Because there is no statute of limitations in fandom. Fandom never forgives. Fandom never forgets. And fandom is vengeful.

  11. Would someone please prepare to present this next year at WorldCon.

  12. “It’s a free country! I’m entitled to my opinion and you have to listen to it!”

  13. But HOW DARE YOU RESPOND!

  14. “I see you like to argue. On your own page. Why won’t you let me have the last word on your page?! Stop talking back!”

  15. All of this, and then some too.

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