Thing that I am getting awfully sick of, in dramatic presentations of sf/fantasy works.
Honestly, if I ever see this again, it will be too soon.
The exposition-sentence that begins with, “What if I told you–”
Usually followed by something that sounds batshit insane to the person who’s been living a normal life until that moment.
I first became aware of this with Laurence Fishburne in THE MATRIX, but it has become the go-to form, and I just saw it with the trailer for the new TV series, THE INHUMANS. I think but cannot be sure that it was in DOCTOR STRANGE too. But it’s certainly all over the place.
Seriously. This is becoming the only way the makers of fantastic film and TV know how to impart this necessary information.
“What if I told you that there’s a lost civilization you never knew existed, a civilization of titans and warriors fighting an eternal battle against the forces of evil, and that it is in fact very small and has lived for thousands of years tucked away behind your left ear? What if I told you that if you continue using dandruff shampoo, then the Dark Lord Evillo, the Twisted One, will get his hands on the Glowing Magenta Orb of Arvillon, and use it to destroy all creation, because he’s too short-sighted to work out what would happen next? What if I told you that your mother isn’t your mother but an android designed specifically to instill in you a lifelong distaste for Prell? What would you say then, eh?”
The only possible response is, “What if I told you I’m walking away really quickly now?”
Can we find another way to do this?
Comment By: Evelyn Gingersnap Stice
July 21st, 2017 at 9:18 am
Testify! Such lazy writing.
Comment By: Michael Pullmann
July 21st, 2017 at 9:18 am
I’m weak and I feel bad about myself:
https://imgflip.com/i/1suo8z
Comment By: Evelyn Gingersnap Stice
July 21st, 2017 at 9:18 am
This actually was the best.
Comment By: John Ordover
July 21st, 2017 at 10:18 am
Heinlein’s Glory Road handled this perfectly by simply not explaining anything to the hero until they got there, and in fact pointing out that if she -had- explained things to the hero up front, he would have walked away. 🙂
Comment By: Rajnar Vajra
July 21st, 2017 at 10:18 am
And somehow the question never gets directly answered. “What if I told you X?” 1. “Go ahead and tell me, and we’ll both find out.” 2. “What if you didn’t?” 3. “I’d go eat lunch. In fact, I’ll be eating lunch in any case, so don’t bother to tell me.”
Comment By: Chuck Rothman
July 21st, 2017 at 11:18 am
The question predated the Matrix by almost 20 years. As did the perfect retort:
Ford Prefect: How would you react if I told you that I’m not from Guildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?
Arthur Dent: I don’t know. Why? Do you think it’s the sort of thing you’re likely to say?
Comment By: Rajnar Vajra
July 21st, 2017 at 12:17 pm
Right!
Comment By: Ben
July 21st, 2017 at 12:06 pm
Don’t all genres have that kind of problem? Mysteries starting with the POV of a soon-to-be-murder-victim usually get me into eye-rolling mood, too.
Or a fantasy series that start with a prophecy that just spoils a bit of the plot but not too much to actually say anything useful.
That sort of thing.
Comment By: Paul Anderson
July 21st, 2017 at 2:18 pm
Back to “I know you know all this, darling, but let me just review…”?
And, yes, I know which author I’m thinking of.
Comment By: Amy Bisson
July 22nd, 2017 at 1:19 am
This is why so many epic fantasy heroes are from remote areas where they grow up with almost no knowledge of the world outside their small district (The Shire, Shady Vale, The Two Rivers, Faldor’s Farm, etc.). Once the wise wizard tells the hero there are prophecies about how he will save the entire world once he leaves his village, the wizard then has to basically tell the entire backstory to the hero.
Comment By: Ben
July 22nd, 2017 at 6:05 am
Too true. On top of that they are young (so haven’t learned much yet) poor (so they don’t have much of an education) and just a bit odd (so they might be a bit of an outsider).
Even better though if they’re from a different world/time altogether, or have amnesia (except for stuff they conveniently remember to tell the reader).
I’ll take it over narrator-info-dumping, though.
Comment By: Pixel Scroll 7/26/17 Fifth File At Scrollory Towers | File 770
July 26th, 2017 at 9:14 pm
[…] (22) ONCE TOO OFTEN. Adam-Troy Castro files a grievance: “’What if I Told You’ There Was Another Way to Impart Exposition?” […]