Making Batman Say, “Uhhhhhh, What?”

Switching Batmen and their Gotham Cities.

Imagine plopping Adam West’s Batman down in the dark and corrupt Gotham of, among other creators, Frank Miller, where half the cops are on the take and all the villains are not just colorful lunatics but mass murderers; imagine him fighting, for instance, the Joker of Scott Snyder’s DEATH OF THE FAMILY, or the one played by Heath Ledger.

Conversely, imagine the grim and militaristic Batman of ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN in the Gotham of Lorenzo Semple Jr., where all the crimes are whimsical and campy and Commissioner Gordon has all the competence of a turtle lying on his back.

This would lead to some fun scenes.

FRANK MILLER BATMAN: “There’s nothing about you I can’t fix, Joker…with my hands…”

CESAR ROMERO JOKER (Disconcerted): “Umm, what?”

or

ADAM WEST BATMAN: “I’m just an ally of this fine city’s fine, upstanding police force!”

BURT WARD ROBIN: “Gosh, Batman! You’re right!”

JIM GORDON: (Disconcerted) “Ummm, what?”

And so on.

Howzabout Adam West’s Batman Versus The Leader of the Mutants, from DARK KNIGHT RETURNS #2?

MUTANT LEADER: “They call us a gang! They call us a mob! They think we just noisy kids! Only when they die by our hands and see their women raped will they know…we have the strength! We have the will! And now we have the guns! GOTHAM CITY BELONGS TO THE MUTANTS!”

ADAM WEST BATMAN: “Ummmm, what?”

Or the Denny O’Neil / Neal Adams Batman of the early 1970s meeting TV’s Commissioner Gordon:

BATMAN: “Unusual of you to call me in broad daylight!”

GORDON: “What are you talking about, caped crusader? I always call you in broad daylight!”

BATMAN: “….okay, I’ll let that pass. Just feels strange standing here in the center of your office with a beam of sunlight shining through the window. What’s the emergency?”

GORDON: “The new exhibit of the stuffed dodo at the Gotham Museum of Natural History just opened…and the dodo was STOLEN! In its place, we found an UMBRELLA! We need you to handle this dastardly emergency!”

BATMAN: “…Ummmm, what?”

GORDON: “Only one man would leave an umbrella at a museum!”

BATMAN: “Wasn’t it raining this morning?”

GORDON: “Excellent observation, caped crimefighter!”

BATMAN: “Don’t people always forget their umbrellas when the weather changes? Why do you automatically assume it was the Penguin?”

GORDON: “The stuffed dodo was MISSING!”

BATMAN: “So you call me in broad daylight?”

GORDON: “We’re baffled!”

BATMAN: “I’m leaving.”

Finally, the Superman of the comics edited by Mort Weisinger meeting Batman from any other era, whatsoever:

SUPERMAN: “Batman, I’ve just found out that Lois Lane thinks my secret identity is Bruce Wayne and that she intends to get you to marry her before admitting that she knows! I need you to play along and fall in love her as Bruce Wayne, so I can show up at your wedding as Superman as your best man, and teach her a hilarious lesson!”

BATMAN: (After a moment) “You want me to what?”